A Love Poem

Isaac Hollander McCreery, 1 November 2015

In some sense distance makes the heart grow fonder;
In some sense distance makes the heart grow stronger.
But in some sense it’s closeness that does.

Because
It’s hard to ignore what’s right in front
Of your face.

You ask me to be all of myself,
To be complete.
Not just more, but all.
It’s exhausting sometimes to show up,
Like filling a vacuum as a single atom.

But the world
So rarely
Asks all that of me.

Maybe that’s why I’m angry to see you go,
Off, in a swift, in the car of a stranger,
Around the corner
And gone, just like that.

Because I know that, tomorrow, the next day, and the next,
Life will ask less of me,
And I will sink to the occasion because
What else can I do?

Keep you in my heart as best I can, I suppose.

It’s sick, what we do to ourselves,
Really.
Why do I live so far away
From your infinite and complex love?

Maybe that’s why it’s hard for me not to cry to see you go,
Because I know that, perhaps more than anyone else,
You ask everything of me,
Expect me to show up,
And I do.
Or at least
I try.

As we grow older, together, I’m learning
To take the edge off and
That edge is becoming something different.

Maybe it’s that I’m learning to love myself,
Through you.
It’s a side of love we rarely see,
Really.

And as I learn the pipes and wings and trellises of your love,
And my love,
(Maybe that’s why she reminds me of you,)
I wonder:
How could it have ever been simpler?
But I know, I was young back then;
I was very young back then.

I love you Mom.